Writing to Your Donor Family
As a transplant recipient, you may wish to communicate with your donor’s family. The decision to write to the donor
family is a very personal one.
Sometimes, transplant recipients and their families choose to write to donor families to express their gratitude. We know
that donor families welcome and appreciate this. When you acknowledge the donor family’s loss and express your
thanks, you make their loved one’s gift even more meaningful and offer the family some comfort.
Gift of Life encourages recipients or their families to write to donor families, and facilitates the exchange of all letters and
correspondence between transplant recipients and donor families.
If you would like to write to the donor family, consider sending a hand-written or typed letter or a greeting card.
Tips for Writing to Your Donor Family
Writing about yourself Include your first name only (and first names of your family if you choose to include them).
– Acknowledge the donor family’s loss and thank them for their gift.
– Discuss your family situation such as marital status, children or grandchildren.
– Describe the type of transplant you received. (One donor may have benefited many people).
– Use simple language. Avoid complex medical terms and giving too much detail about your medical history.
– Describe how long you waited for a transplant. What was the wait like for you and your family?
– Explain how the transplant has improved your health and changed your life. Did you return to work, school or accept a
new job? Did you celebrate another birthday? Did your son or daughter marry? Did you become a parent or
grandparent?
– Share your hobbies or interests.
– Consider omitting any religious comments since the religion of the donor family is unknown.
Closing your card or letter Sign your first name only.
– Do not reveal your address, city or phone number.
– Do not reveal your physician’s name or the name or location of the hospital.
Will you hear from the donor family?
You may or may not hear from them. Some donor families have said that writing about their loved one and their decision
to donate helps them in their grieving process. Other donor families, even though they are comfortable with their decision
to donate, may prefer privacy and choose not to write.
Thank you for writing to the donor family.
We thank you for your thoughtfulness. We know that donor families appreciate hearing from recipients. Remember the
donor family may still be coping with the loss of their loved one, and individuals manage grief in different ways. While you
may be celebrating the anniversary of receiving your transplant, someone else is remembering a loss. Help the family
understand the importance of their decision to donate. Let them know that their loved one will never be forgotten.
Mail to
Lara Moretti
Gift of Life Donor Program
401 North 3rd Street
Philadelphia, PA 19123
For additional assistance with writing to your donor family, please e-mail us or call Family Support Services at 1-800-
DONORS-1.
Gift of Life Donor Program
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Women's Heart Transplant Support Group 
I don’t know who may or may not read this, but here it is. My grandaughter lost her wonderful life through a tragic event. She lived 5 days and was determined to be brain dead. Our family decided to donate her organs to save the life of others who were suffering as we were, but had hope. They had our family to thank for the lives of their children. Four people in all received her organs and are alive today because of her. a 2 year old, a 9 year old, an 18 year old a 51 year old. The family of the two year old and the family of the 18 year old were so very appreciative of the gift of life their children were given and showed sympathy for our loss, while appreciation of the ‘VERY DIFFICULT’ decision we made.
The decision to walk a living child to the operating room, say goodbye, and walk away knowing they were going to cut all of her vital organs, from her body and give them to very sick people, to save their lives. Having been thanked for our thoughfulness is the least that I might have expected. from two of the families, that is what happened., But the other two families, who we have been notified today, are doing very well, have never even sent a simple thank you. It has been a year and a half and not as much as a thank you for the heart you allowed to be cut out of your childs chest, so that Mine might live. Thank you for the kidney and pancreas so that I did not have to have dialysis daily and now can live a normal life.
So I now have a very different perspective of organ donation. Not at any time did my family expect anything in return, we made a very difficult decision to help others, to save lives. I must say that I feel very sad that the very people who benefitted from that decision, didn’t even have the decency to say thank you to the family who gave them their lives back. It has made me feel regret for having had my only grandchild gutted like a fish, in order to save a child we have never met. The only shining star is the two recipient families that were grateful, they continue to make us feel that the donation was the right thing to do.
By: laura on January 6, 2011
at 9:17 am